5 Life and Dating Tips I Learned From My Mom

dating tips i learned from my mom
I thought I would share these Life and Dating Tips with you because, 1) I just celebrated my 12th wedding anniversary, so these tips obviously work, 2) it’s close to Mother’s Day and it seemed appropriate.  I lost my mother to brain cancer in 2006 and I miss her dearly.  The best advice when dealing with grief came from my husband, who lost his own mother to cancer when he was 18.  He said, the pain and loss get’s easier with each passing day and he was right.  Now I can think of her and be happy instead of sad.  I can talk about her without crying.  
 

First, I wanted to give you a bit of background on my mother’s health.  She was diagnosed with a brain tumor when she was 16, it was the ‘70s and medical technology was not what it is now, but she went into remission and was cancer free for over 25 years.  She got cancer again in the early 2000’s because of the radiation she received in her teens.  So, I think I was so lucky to have a healthy mom until I was a young adult.  Not only that, but she was able to attend my wedding.

My mom in her favorite color of pink
 
So now, on to my mom’s basic dating tips, but they can really be applied to so many things.  She learned these rules the hard way, so they are proven.  My nickname for my mother was Pink, her favorite color, so I like to call the rules “Pink-isms”.  I’m so thankful that she was always giving me tips and advice so that I would be able to tackle the big bad world.   Thanks Mom!  I’m really glad I listened too.  Here they are:
 
  1. A relationship is a relationship.  Treat your sexual relationships the same as your platonic ones.  Demand the same respect and don’t take shit from anyone.  If someone doesn’t respect you or treat you well, they probably never will and it’s time to move on.  Don’t give a guy or gal a break just because the sex is great.
  2. Don’t date a guy that doesn’t like small animals.  Sounds weird until you know the story behind it. My mom had a boyfriend when I was young (around 6 or 7) and he did not like small animals or children.  I don’t remember doing anything with the two of them, because he never wanted to be around me.  My cat had kittens and while my mom was in another room, her boyfriend started messing with one of the kittens. I didn’t like the way he handled the kitten and the kitten was meowing loudly with fear.  He decided it would be funny to put the kitten in the top shelf of the closet and close the door.  I walked up to the door, but he blocked me from opening it.  I screamed for my mom and she came running and promptly got the kitten down.  I don’t remember her dating him much longer after that incident.  Then she made the rule.  She found that it always worked as a way to weed out a bad seed.  If a guy couldn’t love something small and helpless, than something was wrong with him and you should run away….FAST.  This one has served me well too.
  3. When going on a first date with a guy always make sure that the conversation revolves around him. He will think it’s a great date and that you’re amazing.  Let’s face it, men a basic. 
  4. Make sure that you are comfortable being YOU, being complete (100%) will ensure that you will meet someone that is also complete.   Learn to love yourself, your flaws, stretch marks, your butt, etc.   If you get into a relationship needing to be completed (e.g. you’re only 70%), you will meet someone at the same point in their lives.  These relationships never work out and usually are co-dependant.  If you need to accomplish something in your life, do it, take care of yourself and the right man or woman will come along.  A friend of mine wanted to live in Spain, but she was waiting to meet the right guy to live there with her.  After years of waiting, she decided to pick up and move.  She has a great job and has met amazing people along the way, making her more complete and thus more attractive.  Oh and by the way, she met a great guy….
  5. Perfection doesn’t exist.  You’re not perfect and neither is your eventual partner…..sorry to break the news to you.  If you have a list that outlines all the things that a guy must be or have to be considered appropriate to date, maybe you need to revisit #4 above.  If you have a list, you better assume he has one too.  What do you provide?  What must you be or have to be considered a catch?  Are you perfect?  Do you have an Ivy League degree and a 7 figure job? If not, then why must you have it in a guy or gal? Are you willing to change completely for someone else?  If you do, can you live with yourself?
So there you have it.  Just some of the words of wisdom my mom gave me over the years.  Happy Mother’s Day Mom!   I’ll be sure to share more “Pink-isms” with you later.  Until then, here are some more photos….
 
My parents do have a sense of humor….Here they are wearing Bevo horns before my college graduation from UT Austin.
 
This is my mom in her early 20’s.